First week of school was so looooong. I do love my teachers and I'm quite satisfied with my schedule overall. I just need to step up my game with those honors/AP classes. It's only the first week, but my homework is already taking more time to complete than it did in sophomore year.
So a faulty laneline at the MTW pool kinda split my middle right finger in half.. there's this nasty red line extending all the way down the middle of my middle finger. If you pry it open, you can see past my external layer of skin. It's pretty freaky but pretty cool!
My brother just won all 8 worlds of Super Mario Bros. He is so proud of himself and my whole family is too LOL. Maybe now I can finally have my DS back; he rarely shares with me even though it is MINE ):
I spent all of Saturday morning watching the Little Leagues baseball World Series international championships. The Chinese Taipei team owned Mexico in the semifinals, so the final game is between the US and China. I always feel guilty cheering for either team when they play against each other. It's like the Olympics all over again... It was a surprisingly interesting game and baseball will forever remind me of Mrs. Mellera.
I DEFINITELY do not show this in any way, but I am very grateful for you, especially now. You are surprisingly easy to talk to. Thanks.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Rant about memory loss
So you know that feeling when you KNOW a word.. but you can't seem to remember it? Like it's on the tip of your tongue and you freakin' know it, damn it!, but you just can't say it. Yeah, that happens to me all the time. And then the answer comes to me in the most random of times in a sudden epiphany, hours or days later. My memory is getting worse.. I can feel it slipping.
I spent the entire last half of practice today tring to figure out the name of the burger I had at Red Robin's that I loved so much. (At practice, we usually talk about food haha). I asked HELLA people too! And they knew what I was talking about caused they loved it too, except they were useless at helping me figure out the name. Guess what it was? Whiskey River BBQ burger! I highly recommend that one, by the way<3
"Cactus caroline: you're very prickly and harmful on the outside, but when you look within, it's everything you need." -- I can't figure out if that's a compliment or an insult... It was meant to show good intentions (like that swan feather! omg JLC is growing on me.) but FAIL overall.
I spent the entire last half of practice today tring to figure out the name of the burger I had at Red Robin's that I loved so much. (At practice, we usually talk about food haha). I asked HELLA people too! And they knew what I was talking about caused they loved it too, except they were useless at helping me figure out the name. Guess what it was? Whiskey River BBQ burger! I highly recommend that one, by the way<3
"Cactus caroline: you're very prickly and harmful on the outside, but when you look within, it's everything you need." -- I can't figure out if that's a compliment or an insult... It was meant to show good intentions (like that swan feather! omg JLC is growing on me.) but FAIL overall.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Looking up
My grades are off to a bad start, disappointing pretest results. But it's only up from here, right? Oh I hope. I'm really settling into my classes now. I love the people in most of my classes.. they're a good mix of familiar faces and plenty of new opputunities.
Practice was fun today. Vincent was being crazier and nastier than normal, and that's always fun to experience. Oh man, this boy...! haha.
I think I should stop using a one-shoulder bag. It's really messing up my right shoulder now. I can't even do fly correctly and my shoulders hurt all the time. Maybe it's time to revive my blanc et noir argyle Jansport backpack. Oh, and I can't wait for Monterey! Hopefully we'll get to camp this year.
BeeMcGee = Mr. Colburn's name for our associate principal, Mr. McGarry. Hahaha! Mr. Colburn is awesome, I love him already.
Five days is oh-so-long! Where's the weekend?! I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever! I'm looking forward to it :)
Practice was fun today. Vincent was being crazier and nastier than normal, and that's always fun to experience. Oh man, this boy...! haha.
I think I should stop using a one-shoulder bag. It's really messing up my right shoulder now. I can't even do fly correctly and my shoulders hurt all the time. Maybe it's time to revive my blanc et noir argyle Jansport backpack. Oh, and I can't wait for Monterey! Hopefully we'll get to camp this year.
BeeMcGee = Mr. Colburn's name for our associate principal, Mr. McGarry. Hahaha! Mr. Colburn is awesome, I love him already.
Five days is oh-so-long! Where's the weekend?! I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever! I'm looking forward to it :)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Ugly day
My second day of junior year sucked. I'm so damn tired of school already and we have 178 days to go. Today is one of those days where it seems like the entire world turns on you. Everything is pissing me off and I'm being annoying to my parents. And I have no clue where my $100 calculator is; someone borrowed it and never returned it and I hate myself for not remembering who it was.
My myspace is officially deleted.. it's about time I got rid of it. Facebook and blogspot FTW.
Love/hate... sometimes, it's hard to differentiate.
My myspace is officially deleted.. it's about time I got rid of it. Facebook and blogspot FTW.
Love/hate... sometimes, it's hard to differentiate.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Junior year introductions
So today was the first day of my junior year, the day I have been dreading since.. oh I don't know, the beginning of summer pretty much.
I'm quite happy with the people I have in my classes, more familar faces than I had previously thought. But I was entirely right about the workload, it's pretty bad already and it's only gonna get crazier. So to make myself feel better, I got some froyo afterschool :)
A rundown:
1st - AP Calc AB, Ms. Nguyen: Rumors abound that she is a hard teacher, not as lenient as Mr. Bautista, but will prepare you well for the AP test. That's gonna be one of my hard classes, I can tell already. She has a take-no-crap attitude, but seems like a generally nice and helpful teacher overall. We have a quiz on the unit circle tomorrow, which I never fully learned with Mrs. Leggin.
2nd - Honors English, Conradson: She is such a cute lady. I didn't know she was Mr. Hanley's wife! The stuff we are gonna do in class looks to be pretty boring though; we're gonna read books I never would have taken a second glance at. A WHOLE LOT of in class essays during the year, FML. We had a project due and a test today.. ALREADY, and we have an in-class essay tomorrow. The people in this class are awesome though, a whoooole lot of familar faces :)
3rd - French 3, Topping: She seems to be a fun lady, definitely won't drive me crazy like Mollot. Topping speaks too much French though damn it, and we have to write an entire letter in French that's due tomorrow. The kids from Mollot are gonna be so behind cause we barely learned anything... Oh btw, my new French name is Simone because Bettina said it sounded "sassy."
4th - Anatomy, Hentschke: He's awesome! Seems to be pretty lenient (doesn't believe in weekend homework YAY!) and has a sense of humor. I'm worried about memorizing body parts though, my memory sucks. But he has 3 microwaves in his class so I don't have to eat school food! Haha.
5th - AP Chem, Meyer: She's cool, so many memories in that class and here we are again. It's definitely gonna be a demanding class though (no lunch? no SSR?). I'm gonna struggle a whole lot more than I did with Honors Chem. Some fun people in that class though.
6th - Journalism, Colburn: He has a wicked sense of humor! As long as I do the work, that class is pretty much my free period. "I'm gonna talk about stuff, you're gonna learn stuff, then you're gonna do stuff."
On the brightside, I will be at college in exactly 2 years.. hooray. It's hard to believe that it was only two years ago that I was a freshmen, it seems like a lifetime ago. And it was nice to see people I haven't seen all summer; no one has changed all that much.
Oh, I am so lost on what to do because either way, someone gets hurt. And I feel like anything I do will be absolutely wrong and irreversible. I just need some time.
I'm quite happy with the people I have in my classes, more familar faces than I had previously thought. But I was entirely right about the workload, it's pretty bad already and it's only gonna get crazier. So to make myself feel better, I got some froyo afterschool :)
A rundown:
1st - AP Calc AB, Ms. Nguyen: Rumors abound that she is a hard teacher, not as lenient as Mr. Bautista, but will prepare you well for the AP test. That's gonna be one of my hard classes, I can tell already. She has a take-no-crap attitude, but seems like a generally nice and helpful teacher overall. We have a quiz on the unit circle tomorrow, which I never fully learned with Mrs. Leggin.
2nd - Honors English, Conradson: She is such a cute lady. I didn't know she was Mr. Hanley's wife! The stuff we are gonna do in class looks to be pretty boring though; we're gonna read books I never would have taken a second glance at. A WHOLE LOT of in class essays during the year, FML. We had a project due and a test today.. ALREADY, and we have an in-class essay tomorrow. The people in this class are awesome though, a whoooole lot of familar faces :)
3rd - French 3, Topping: She seems to be a fun lady, definitely won't drive me crazy like Mollot. Topping speaks too much French though damn it, and we have to write an entire letter in French that's due tomorrow. The kids from Mollot are gonna be so behind cause we barely learned anything... Oh btw, my new French name is Simone because Bettina said it sounded "sassy."
4th - Anatomy, Hentschke: He's awesome! Seems to be pretty lenient (doesn't believe in weekend homework YAY!) and has a sense of humor. I'm worried about memorizing body parts though, my memory sucks. But he has 3 microwaves in his class so I don't have to eat school food! Haha.
5th - AP Chem, Meyer: She's cool, so many memories in that class and here we are again. It's definitely gonna be a demanding class though (no lunch? no SSR?). I'm gonna struggle a whole lot more than I did with Honors Chem. Some fun people in that class though.
6th - Journalism, Colburn: He has a wicked sense of humor! As long as I do the work, that class is pretty much my free period. "I'm gonna talk about stuff, you're gonna learn stuff, then you're gonna do stuff."
On the brightside, I will be at college in exactly 2 years.. hooray. It's hard to believe that it was only two years ago that I was a freshmen, it seems like a lifetime ago. And it was nice to see people I haven't seen all summer; no one has changed all that much.
Oh, I am so lost on what to do because either way, someone gets hurt. And I feel like anything I do will be absolutely wrong and irreversible. I just need some time.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
MTW Swim-a-thon
OH, almost forgot! Swimathon was on Friday, and the high school kiddos swam the 200 laps (5000 meters) within 2 hours which was BORING AS HELL, except for the occasional corkscrew and backstroke, teehee. and my parents kept nagging me about resting more and drinking energy shakes.. took me a while to convince them that this is pretty much what we do at practice daily. aiyaaa!
A big THANK YOU VERY MUCH to all y'all that supported me by pledging, you guys are the greatest family and friends<3 I think I raised a whopping... $200?! HELL YEAH, HUGS AND KISSES FOR ALL!!! (Oh and it would be much appreciated if you paid me by Monday, August 31) :D
So today, I turned down a chance to go crabbing in SF to go shopping.. this shopping trip better be worth it!
A big THANK YOU VERY MUCH to all y'all that supported me by pledging, you guys are the greatest family and friends<3 I think I raised a whopping... $200?! HELL YEAH, HUGS AND KISSES FOR ALL!!! (Oh and it would be much appreciated if you paid me by Monday, August 31) :D
So today, I turned down a chance to go crabbing in SF to go shopping.. this shopping trip better be worth it!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Our story
It's always great to hear about my family's history.. and today they told me a little more of what they had went through. And I guess Joy Luck Club inspired me (I don't know if that's the right word here, more like.. forced me to do so or else I would fail at being Chinese) to jot down the things I remember. And they said this all in Chinese, so I sincerely hope my translations are accurate.
So my uncle is here visiting us from Atlanta, Georgia, one of my mom's three brothers (her other two are back in China with my grandmother). My great-grandparents on my mom's side is from Shandong province, a barren land lacking of any natural resources. This was kind of a shock to me, I had always thought they were from Dongbei (Northeastern China), near the Mongolian border. Turns out, they had migrated to Dongbei around 1922 because, as my dad says, the Northeastern Chinese are incredibly smart but annoyingly lazy.
During the migration, they would hold a stick, usually made of yumu on their backs and dangle a baby in one basket on one end of the stick and clothes in the other basket on the other end. Yumu was a very durable wood, it could carry many many kilograms; in the South, zhuzi (bamboo) was more commonly used. To get to the Dongbei area, migrators would have to travel though an opening in the Great Wall and walk many miles. A new Chinese character arose from this movement: chuan. Broken down into radicals, the outside part of the word means gate or door, and the inside part means horse; so literally, a horse going through a gate.
Back in Shandong province, the people would have to work extremely hard to simply counteract the natual disasters common to the area. Dongbei, on the other hand, was a bountiful land: if you wanted to fish, there were lakes teeming with fish nearby; if you wanted meat, deer were right outside prancing around; if you wanted any crops, just throw some seeds in the black dirt and anything and everything would grow. This is where my great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents are from, the Shandong province. So now I know I have Shandong blood, thanks for finally telling me guys.
Even FARTHER back though, my grandmother on my mom's side is of Manzu descent (you probably know it as Manchurian). The Manzu were known as extremely clever and wise rulers of China, ruling Northeastern China and little bits of Russia during the Ming and Qing dynasties until 1911. The Manzu aren't really Chinese, even though they controlled most of China for a long period of time. Nowadays, there are so many Manzu in China that they are a recognized minority and completely integrated into society.
My mom is proudly emphasizes that the Manzu never practiced footbinding, unlike my great-grandmother on my dad's side, whose feet were the length of 3-4 inches and grossly disfigured. My grandmother (on my dad's side) said I had seen my great-grandmother's foot and was completely scared yet totally fascinated by it. She said I was only around 2 years old and my foot was about the same size as this full-grown woman's foot that was bound her entire life. I wish my great-grandmother was still alive so I could ask her what it was really like.
Wars were pretty common during the time of my grandparents and great-grandparents, around the 1900s. My grandmother (on my dad's side) lived in Shaanxi province (The Southern Chinese, not really the Northern Chinese, are known for playing mahjong all the time and are the best at making noodles. Southern Chinese cities are also known for having a wall built around it: "You see a city.. BAM, there's a wall." --says my dad). The area of Shaanxi was completely inaccessible to Japanese troops during the Japanese invasion because of steep mountain passes, so the Japanese resorted to nonstop aerial bombings of the city. My grandmother said she would go to school in the morning and see the remains of the previous night's bombings; most memorably, she remembered seeing a kid's leg on a wire up high and another's kid's head resting on a wall. Can you imagine seeing that on your way to school? I see the occassional dead squirrel and even that traumatizes me... once I saw a dead deer and couldn't get the image out of my head for days.
My great-grandfather (on my mom's side) fought in the Korean War as part of the Red Army, who allied with the Koreans against the Americans. In a nutshell, North Korea invaded South Korea, so the US butted in on the side of the South Koreans, then the Chinese, with the command of Chairman Mao, butted in on the side of the North Koreans (well there were other countries involved, but too many to list here). The war was fought until fighting ended at the sanbaxian (38th parallel). My great-grandfather joined the Red Army in 1947 and fought in the war until 1951. His kneecap was completely shattered so from thenafter, he could never bend his leg again and walked with a straight leg.
After all the talk about the Korean war, my dad and my grandpa got into a mini-argument about US intervention. My dad thought it was necessary during the time while my grandpa said the US should butt out of people's beeswax. I'm not sure I can really take a clear stand on that one. I can name countless times in history when intervention was completely unnecessary and only made things much worse, but I can also name countless other times when the Americans actually helped the country... hm, that a toughie.
It's amazing how some people LIVE through the history that you can only read about and imagine. I guess we are too, we just need some time to truly realize what impact it will eventually have.
So my uncle is here visiting us from Atlanta, Georgia, one of my mom's three brothers (her other two are back in China with my grandmother). My great-grandparents on my mom's side is from Shandong province, a barren land lacking of any natural resources. This was kind of a shock to me, I had always thought they were from Dongbei (Northeastern China), near the Mongolian border. Turns out, they had migrated to Dongbei around 1922 because, as my dad says, the Northeastern Chinese are incredibly smart but annoyingly lazy.
During the migration, they would hold a stick, usually made of yumu on their backs and dangle a baby in one basket on one end of the stick and clothes in the other basket on the other end. Yumu was a very durable wood, it could carry many many kilograms; in the South, zhuzi (bamboo) was more commonly used. To get to the Dongbei area, migrators would have to travel though an opening in the Great Wall and walk many miles. A new Chinese character arose from this movement: chuan. Broken down into radicals, the outside part of the word means gate or door, and the inside part means horse; so literally, a horse going through a gate.
Back in Shandong province, the people would have to work extremely hard to simply counteract the natual disasters common to the area. Dongbei, on the other hand, was a bountiful land: if you wanted to fish, there were lakes teeming with fish nearby; if you wanted meat, deer were right outside prancing around; if you wanted any crops, just throw some seeds in the black dirt and anything and everything would grow. This is where my great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents are from, the Shandong province. So now I know I have Shandong blood, thanks for finally telling me guys.
Even FARTHER back though, my grandmother on my mom's side is of Manzu descent (you probably know it as Manchurian). The Manzu were known as extremely clever and wise rulers of China, ruling Northeastern China and little bits of Russia during the Ming and Qing dynasties until 1911. The Manzu aren't really Chinese, even though they controlled most of China for a long period of time. Nowadays, there are so many Manzu in China that they are a recognized minority and completely integrated into society.
My mom is proudly emphasizes that the Manzu never practiced footbinding, unlike my great-grandmother on my dad's side, whose feet were the length of 3-4 inches and grossly disfigured. My grandmother (on my dad's side) said I had seen my great-grandmother's foot and was completely scared yet totally fascinated by it. She said I was only around 2 years old and my foot was about the same size as this full-grown woman's foot that was bound her entire life. I wish my great-grandmother was still alive so I could ask her what it was really like.
Wars were pretty common during the time of my grandparents and great-grandparents, around the 1900s. My grandmother (on my dad's side) lived in Shaanxi province (The Southern Chinese, not really the Northern Chinese, are known for playing mahjong all the time and are the best at making noodles. Southern Chinese cities are also known for having a wall built around it: "You see a city.. BAM, there's a wall." --says my dad). The area of Shaanxi was completely inaccessible to Japanese troops during the Japanese invasion because of steep mountain passes, so the Japanese resorted to nonstop aerial bombings of the city. My grandmother said she would go to school in the morning and see the remains of the previous night's bombings; most memorably, she remembered seeing a kid's leg on a wire up high and another's kid's head resting on a wall. Can you imagine seeing that on your way to school? I see the occassional dead squirrel and even that traumatizes me... once I saw a dead deer and couldn't get the image out of my head for days.
My great-grandfather (on my mom's side) fought in the Korean War as part of the Red Army, who allied with the Koreans against the Americans. In a nutshell, North Korea invaded South Korea, so the US butted in on the side of the South Koreans, then the Chinese, with the command of Chairman Mao, butted in on the side of the North Koreans (well there were other countries involved, but too many to list here). The war was fought until fighting ended at the sanbaxian (38th parallel). My great-grandfather joined the Red Army in 1947 and fought in the war until 1951. His kneecap was completely shattered so from thenafter, he could never bend his leg again and walked with a straight leg.
After all the talk about the Korean war, my dad and my grandpa got into a mini-argument about US intervention. My dad thought it was necessary during the time while my grandpa said the US should butt out of people's beeswax. I'm not sure I can really take a clear stand on that one. I can name countless times in history when intervention was completely unnecessary and only made things much worse, but I can also name countless other times when the Americans actually helped the country... hm, that a toughie.
It's amazing how some people LIVE through the history that you can only read about and imagine. I guess we are too, we just need some time to truly realize what impact it will eventually have.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Limitations
I had a tumblr addiction, it was reeeeeal bad. But I think it's okay. Everything is alright and I am perfectly fine now. Phew, I can control myself...
I needa lay down some ground rules before school starts, like cutting back on blogging/tumblring, no aim until homework is completely finished (hm... that's gonna be the hardest), no more skype, facebook ONCE A DAY, delete twitter (hehe, did that already!), and no phone after 12am. Oh man, must increase self-discipline somehow!!!
Thank god I have unlimited texting! And hopefully some rollover minutes left. But guess what? I found out I don't have to pay for long distance calls! ;)
I needa lay down some ground rules before school starts, like cutting back on blogging/tumblring, no aim until homework is completely finished (hm... that's gonna be the hardest), no more skype, facebook ONCE A DAY, delete twitter (hehe, did that already!), and no phone after 12am. Oh man, must increase self-discipline somehow!!!
Thank god I have unlimited texting! And hopefully some rollover minutes left. But guess what? I found out I don't have to pay for long distance calls! ;)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
New phone time!
I can't seem to choose: Samsung Impression or LG Xenon? Hm...
- The xenon is a bit smaller, but both are small enough to fit in my back pocket.
- The impression has a cooler interface but I'm quite accustomed to LG phones now because of my LG Shine.
- The keypad on the impression is said to be much better than the xenon's because of the bigger keys.
- Both are touchscreen, and both vibrate when you touch it. How fun!
- The xenon is a bit smaller, but both are small enough to fit in my back pocket.
- The impression has a cooler interface but I'm quite accustomed to LG phones now because of my LG Shine.
- The keypad on the impression is said to be much better than the xenon's because of the bigger keys.
- Both are touchscreen, and both vibrate when you touch it. How fun!
Oh, and the iPhone is a possibility, the Apps are awesome and it's just a great phone in general. My only con is that I can't seem to get the hang of texting on a touchscreen phone... and having great texting capabilities is a biggie for me. How will I ever decide?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Junior year
1. AP Calculus AB - Nguyen
2. Honors English - Conradson
3. French 3 - Topping
4. Anatomy - Henshke
5. AP Chemistry - Meyer
6. Journalism - Colburn
I better get ready to work my ass off this year. I must keep reminding myself that I have GREAT teachers, even though have a reputation for being really hard. Maybe I should have gone the easy road with Roy and Bautista (like freakin' Kevin!)... but I guess I will have to rely on more miracles/hard work this year. On the bright side, I'm superdooperly glad that Physics and US History were taken care of this summer! Two things that I will never have to worry about again. HELL YEAH! :D
I have been so in love with Japanese food lately. I've even grown a bit fond of raw fish (well, just tuna and salmon), but only in dainty little portions. I still have to work up the nerve to get that Sashimi plate that my mom always gets. I don't think a plate of jello-like creatures can really satisfy me.
My brother and I have kinda been on a rollercoaster ride. He can bring out the absolute worst in me and I hate it. I don't want to be annoyed by my brother but I am on a daily basis. And then I remind myself that he is my favorite person in the whole wide world, and then I feel like shit for being mean to him. He's still young, we all make mistakes (even though he seems to make so much more than the average kid). He gets me so stressed out, but he always makes me laugh. He is so odd.
My grandma's health is getting worse. It's starting to really worry me now. I don't want my grandparents to ever get old.
Maybe I overreacted, maybe I didn't; I don't really know. I think we need a real heart-to-heart talk sometime soon.
2. Honors English - Conradson
3. French 3 - Topping
4. Anatomy - Henshke
5. AP Chemistry - Meyer
6. Journalism - Colburn
I better get ready to work my ass off this year. I must keep reminding myself that I have GREAT teachers, even though have a reputation for being really hard. Maybe I should have gone the easy road with Roy and Bautista (like freakin' Kevin!)... but I guess I will have to rely on more miracles/hard work this year. On the bright side, I'm superdooperly glad that Physics and US History were taken care of this summer! Two things that I will never have to worry about again. HELL YEAH! :D
I have been so in love with Japanese food lately. I've even grown a bit fond of raw fish (well, just tuna and salmon), but only in dainty little portions. I still have to work up the nerve to get that Sashimi plate that my mom always gets. I don't think a plate of jello-like creatures can really satisfy me.
My brother and I have kinda been on a rollercoaster ride. He can bring out the absolute worst in me and I hate it. I don't want to be annoyed by my brother but I am on a daily basis. And then I remind myself that he is my favorite person in the whole wide world, and then I feel like shit for being mean to him. He's still young, we all make mistakes (even though he seems to make so much more than the average kid). He gets me so stressed out, but he always makes me laugh. He is so odd.
My grandma's health is getting worse. It's starting to really worry me now. I don't want my grandparents to ever get old.
Maybe I overreacted, maybe I didn't; I don't really know. I think we need a real heart-to-heart talk sometime soon.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Carwashin'
Hung out with you guys just like old times. Dirty cars, nasty jokes, sunburned feet, free starbucks, "let's get PHO!", corona boxers, infinite laughs. It's always a pleasure :)
Sidenote
So I miss you like crazy and you're pretty much all I think about now. I want to see you again, sometime really soon. Oh and I love reading your blog. It puts a huge smile on my face :)
You know, I used to have a certain spot and I liked that spot. I felt happy, satisfied, confident. But I don't have that spot anymore and for some odd (actually, entirely explainable) reason, I don't care anymore. If I was the freshman or sophomore me, I would have felt kinda pissed and let down. But at this point in my life, I feel like I have exactly who I need. I have people who actually give a damn about me. It's plain stupid of me to expect so much, so I'm not blamely you entirely. And yeah, I'm a total hypocrite, but there are concepts that you need to understand first: I did what I could, but it's always a two-way street (technically, more like an intersection). You tried, I tried, and I guess it just ain't gonna work out. What a shame.
And the sad part is? After realizing all of this, I still know that nothing is gonna change, I'm just gonna go back to doing what I always do.
I wish I was back at camp. Things were a lot less complicated.
You know, I used to have a certain spot and I liked that spot. I felt happy, satisfied, confident. But I don't have that spot anymore and for some odd (actually, entirely explainable) reason, I don't care anymore. If I was the freshman or sophomore me, I would have felt kinda pissed and let down. But at this point in my life, I feel like I have exactly who I need. I have people who actually give a damn about me. It's plain stupid of me to expect so much, so I'm not blamely you entirely. And yeah, I'm a total hypocrite, but there are concepts that you need to understand first: I did what I could, but it's always a two-way street (technically, more like an intersection). You tried, I tried, and I guess it just ain't gonna work out. What a shame.
And the sad part is? After realizing all of this, I still know that nothing is gonna change, I'm just gonna go back to doing what I always do.
I wish I was back at camp. Things were a lot less complicated.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
http://carocaro.tumblr.com/
Tumblr = just for random pictures/quotes that interest me. Blogspot remains my main source to vent.
But oh, tumblr is just too much fun!
But oh, tumblr is just too much fun!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Blow my speakers up
I lost all my freakin' songs!!! And I have to redownload iTunes! Gosh my old laptop makes me so pissed now. I don't even know what songs to download anymore... I feel so lost.
This one is catchy though :)
This one is catchy though :)
Thursday, August 13, 2009
AK
I've been in a daze the whole freakin' day, trying to function on four hours of sleep. It hella feels like I'm dreaming about something that has made me so happy and so sad at the same time. I guess it figures that when it does happen, it has to end. "Life's a game, and the game ain't fair." How cruel.
You're on the plane, getting farther and farther away. I miss you already. We promised we would wait, and here I am waiting.
"Con te partiro"<3
You're on the plane, getting farther and farther away. I miss you already. We promised we would wait, and here I am waiting.
"Con te partiro"<3
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Patchwork quilt
One of the greatest nights of camp was the last night... way to end it with a bang. Charades and scattergories are just too much fun ;) Yogurtland, cupcakes, strawberries. 1am bird call, had some good conversations while being on totally different floors. Kept an eye out for meteor showers but SF was too damn foggy. Did nothing about it when I really should have done something... but I guess it's alright now. Bird call again in the morning, thanks for saying hi :) "I got my eye on you sunshine." Calculator chat. Final goodbyes, teary eyes.
List of "Good movies/shows Andrew said to watch (but don't judge him about after)": My Fair Lady, Skins, Definitely maybe
Another part of my life is ending, but we all promised to keep in touch. It's these little pieces of memories that make an entire life. We lived together, we cried together, we laughed together, we suffered together, we almost died together (only exagerrating a little bit...). I had a wonderful time, and I'll be seeing you guys soon.
List of "Good movies/shows Andrew said to watch (but don't judge him about after)": My Fair Lady, Skins, Definitely maybe
Another part of my life is ending, but we all promised to keep in touch. It's these little pieces of memories that make an entire life. We lived together, we cried together, we laughed together, we suffered together, we almost died together (only exagerrating a little bit...). I had a wonderful time, and I'll be seeing you guys soon.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Salty tear
So it's my last night here. It's hard to imagine being anywhere else now... this place is really growing on me and I don't want to leave. Milpitas seems so boring in comparison. My camp BFF left and I miss her already, especially our late-night karaoke, bird calls, and nerd dances. But today was good in general, had Chipotle and milk tea after what felt like years. Some people have never even heard of milk tea, can you believe it? What n00bs.
I have a new love for the Beatles. And reminder to self: must watch "My Fair Lady."
More to the previous list: team LIGERS!, 20 questions, meteor showers, spray on deodorant?!, ghirardeli white chocolate syrup<3, in-n-out+coldstone=clogged arteries and heart attack, photo scavenger hunt, mulan!, movie buffs, "funny people" in theaters, nerd dancing, 2-foot long burritoes, friendship bracelets, cannibal carrots.
*Sorry, I expected too much. It's better this way.
I have a new love for the Beatles. And reminder to self: must watch "My Fair Lady."
More to the previous list: team LIGERS!, 20 questions, meteor showers, spray on deodorant?!, ghirardeli white chocolate syrup<3, in-n-out+coldstone=clogged arteries and heart attack, photo scavenger hunt, mulan!, movie buffs, "funny people" in theaters, nerd dancing, 2-foot long burritoes, friendship bracelets, cannibal carrots.
*Sorry, I expected too much. It's better this way.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Time of our lives
Telegraph Avenue<3, Topdog, Berkel Berkel, Chipotle, La Burrita, fall-outs, fall-in-loves, camp crushes, annoying girls, fingerprint identification, laundry room karaoke, scary near death experiences, whitewater rafting, Bart trips, the "hospital bar," jumpshots, "hadoooouken! shoryuuuken!," creepy pedophile pictures, late night football, winning touchdown into a trashcan, "stickfish!," American Apparel trips, official vs. unofficial tours, Stanford Pink tshirt, Boardwalk!, sand being thrown at face, Fireball x3, "Ca caw, ca caw!," favorite song x4, Alex Wassabi, daily view of Golden Gate, California+Hongkong+Ecuador+Taiwan+Jersey+South Dakota+Washington DC+France+Singapore.
Most of the time, you're horrible to me. But thanks for watching out for me, you're an uber cool "cousin."
Life is great. I miss my family so much, but I never want to leave. I feel so far away from home. I needed an entirely new perspective and that's what I'm getting. I know better now.
Most of the time, you're horrible to me. But thanks for watching out for me, you're an uber cool "cousin."
Life is great. I miss my family so much, but I never want to leave. I feel so far away from home. I needed an entirely new perspective and that's what I'm getting. I know better now.
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