Habitual response

I tend to run away from people and from situations. I practice avoidance daily, pretty much. Probably not a good idea, especially since I run away from things because of a temporary fear or hesitation and I end up regretting it later.

1. There is never a day that goes by where I regret doing what I did to you, no matter how hard you took it. You are a rude, annoying, and cruel person.
2. Plaid looks good on you, but I can't look.
3. Daaang, I really can't resist. Unfortunately, responsibilities and friendships are holding me back.
4. I don't know why I feel a certain way, you are totally weird and completely different from 'my type'. And yet, I am kinda interested.
5. I can't seem to understand you! Especially how you got where you are cause I honestly don't see anything special about you.

And like always, these are things I that I hope you don't ask me about. Please don't try to guess either, you probably have no idea.

Why I am stressing out right now

- Probably the hardest week of practice in the swim season, everything muscle hurts like a motherrrrr. Leagues in 1 week, CCS in 2 weeks.
- AP World test in 15 days!!! Must keep studying...
- Bielski isn't letting Harrison's kids take the AP World practice test, which I desperately need!!
- CCS is the day after AP World test, and I found out I have a Chem test on the day of CCS. Yeah, thanks. Just keep piling it on -___-
- Mission college physics class is filling up (only like 6 spots left) but I still have to wait another 3 damn weeks to register.
- Online US History class this summer is FULL, uggggggggh.
- My chem project experiment pretty much failed so I have to redo it.
- Too late for lifeguarding job (didn't really want to do it anyways; already too dark!), Read to Succeed (same; would only have been able to attend half the sessions), and Wisdom Chinese Camp (same again; 60 hours/week with little kids the age of my brother, SHOOT ME!).
- My rugball team sucks, enough said.

On the brightside:
- I finally paid AP ($86) and swimming jacket/suit fees ($95) that should have been paid last year.
- I got to skip crazy Mollot's BORING ASS class today for ortho.
- Braces off within 2 months max!
- No more stupid STAR testing! No more test fatigue, confusion from scrambled up classes, and general exhaustion from all of the above.

Yeah, negatives definitely outweigh the positives. If I can't take Physics, my summer will be a complete waste (Well, other than the SAT classes that I already applied for). I need to rake in those community service hours somehow, any ideas?

Keep those dirty hands away from me

This swine flu epidemic is getting scary. I remember having to study diseases and outbreaks for Science Olympiad a few months ago but big-time killers seemed so... historical, less modern.

The swine flu epidemic entered a dangerous new phase Monday as the death toll climbed in Mexico and the number of suspected cases there and in the United States nearly doubled. The World Health Organization raised its alert level but stopped short of declaring a global emergency.

The suspected number of deaths rose to 149 in Mexico, the epicenter of the outbreak with nearly 2,000 people believed to be infected.

The number of U.S. cases rose to 48, the result of further testing at a New York City school, although none was fatal. Other U.S. cases have been reported in Ohio, Kansas, Texas and California. Worldwide there were 73 cases, including six in Canada, one in Spain and two in Scotland.

Aside from the confirmed cases, 13 are suspected in New Zealand, and one is suspected in both France and Israel.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090428/ap_on_he_me/med_swine_flu

Wash your hands! Or use hand sanitizer (the thing I have to do research on for my Honors Chem Consumer Product Project, how convenient) Please, none of that nose-picking, dirt-digging, finger-licking, nastiness.

Cause heaven ain't close in a place like this

1. I made a big deal out of nothing and now I feel like an idiot.
2. I said things I didn't really mean and was being hypocritical.
3. I felt relieved because of someone else's disappointment.

Yeah, all of those numbers are all 3 completely different things where I screwed up. Oh my gosh, I am such a hoooorible person!! I need to get over myself, grow up, and stop being such a big baby.

Dang, FML. I suck.

Nonono-cal

Aw shiiiit it's Friday. Sprung break is about to leave, that bugger. I woke up totally paranoid cause my phone wasn't in the same spot that it was at last night. I bet my parents checked it again. And then I woke up to a dream/fantasy that I will not go into detail about here. Sorry kids, rated R.

Anywaaaays, my break was productive-ish? I didn't get certain stuff done and I don't plan on getting it done on account of my laziness. Satisfied a lot of cravings though... tanning, shopping, beach, the sea smell, biking along the beach, sleeping in, froyo, coldstone, milk tea. You know where you can get all of those things on a daily basis? SOCAL<3 Too bad I am in Nocal, eugh.

Bought a pair of sunglasses and earrings. Swimsuit will have to wait, I'll come for you when it gets deliciously hot later on. And a new bag, we will be meeting when swim season ends and I no longer care about messing up my shoulder.

I think I am turning to cyberstalking. I can't help myself, not only is MHS is so devoid of hot guys but I have so many friends that enjoy it too. Oh how I love away swim meets<333 DM, PN, and MN, we will meet again. And one day, RL, ZE, RP.

Oh man, I really need to get crackin' on getting my license.

17 again

Psh, 17 again. I wish I was 5 again! I do not want to be 17 at all.


A few laughs here and there, but Zac Efron was too distractingly hot<3 A better actor than I had previously thought.

Shadow Cliffs

Shadow Cliffs Lake was heeeeella fun yesterday, some of the best times I have had in a long time. Huge wake-up call: my tanline is BAD AS F@#$! I definitely had the most obvious black/white contrast but other swimmers had bad tanlines too. Lots of asscrack (oh my gosh, so many inappropriate pictures!) and stomach tanning. Thank god for seniors with cars (even though Michael's was quite scary haha). Open water swimming in the lake was pretty nasty, there was algae floating around and somebody said that they learned in AP Bio that freshwater fish constantly pee. GROSS! We had to swim 1000 yards (cause it was technically practice for the day) in water that was bipolar cause some areas were warm and some were freezing. Afterwards, volleyball! With no net and on burning hot sand, but it was still one of the funnest volleyball games ever (Courtesy clap, LOL!). Dove for the ball a few times and got a booboo from the sand ): Then we played Patricia's game (Stick your feet in the sand then push people over. Lesson: if you laugh too hard or if the guys push you, you fall over easily) then Chicken ("My head is getting raped by penises!" --says An. Hahaha). On the way back, stopped at Verde for Happy Hour. Buy 1 milk tea, get 1 free :D Totally exhausted from too much sun exposure and the heat (95 degrees!) but definitely worth it.






(^ Emo attempt at One Tree Hill haha)



(^ Laughing too hard cause An sprayed sunblock down Gideon's ass)

Unprofessional

Water polo was fun at morning practice. Too bad we are too poor to afford a water polo team.

I forgot to post the professional swim team picture. Two weeks ago, we had a practice devoted almost entirely to taking pictures. (Click pictures to view larger)


This year's Varsity girls, as compared with last year's. The seniors and Michelle Tu are missing ):


2007 seemed like a lifetime ago. Two years, any easier? Mr. Bayly, I think you are right. How can I possibly can I go forward?

Croque Madame

My dad found a turkey mom (also called a hen?) sitting on a nest in a bush in our front yard. It's their mating season and this mommy had a total of 13 turkey eggs she was keeping warm. Big family! So we hatched (haha, couldn't resist the pun) this idea that we should take 3 turkey eggs and replace them with 3 chicken eggs so we can have wild chickens roaming around when they pop out of that egg! Kinda like the Ugly Duckling where the goose raises the swan, except with turkeys and chickens (turkens? chickeys?) I took a picture of those 3 turkey eggs, along with a chicken egg, on my kitchen countertop that matches the pattern perfectly. I'll keep you guys updated.

The Union came out yesterday! My picture for Science Olympiad was in it, as well as Pagan saying he was proud of me for making CCS in swimming. Wow, it's so weird getting a compliment from him. What's even weirder? A hug for getting a minute flat in 100 free. I still can't believe it, he HAS changed.

Club swim meet today at Independence. Timing for 6 hours in the heat is extremely exhausting, but worth the 8 hours that Coach will sign hehe. It is great to be able to eat McDonalds while other people have to compete, kinda like laughing in the face of those suckers. Our next meet is Leagues, still 3 weeks away from now. Morning practice during spring break... yay?

Declaration

I hereby declare that I no longer care about AP World chapter tests. Instead, I will be focusing my energy on the AP World test in May which, apparently, has only a 40something% pass rate in the United States (says Maggie Blackburn). I would also like to declare that I care a lot about my English and Chem grades because they are low A's, dangerously close to A-'s. And in PE, our rugball team got 3rd in playoffs but Osborne grades according to wins/losses (Have you met her son? Not bad looking...). That possible A- or B+ bothers me too, but let's just hope I get a better team tomorrow.

2 more tests tomorrow. My teachers must have been COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to all the star testing that has been going on this week and decided to put 2 tests on the Friday before spring break. Well actually, since I have declared that I no longer care about AP World, I actually only have 1 test tomorrow. I am quite nervous about that test in English, especially since I finished the last half of All Quiet on the Western Front in the last 2 days.

Swimming practice has been good lately. Extremely painful, but effective. I am actually trying harder now. And you, please don't bring me down. For spring break, I am considering going to both the morning and afternoon practice, but let's see how Day 1 turns out before I make any crazy decisions.

Are you serious!?

1. I thought I didn't mind all that bullcrap, but I do mind. You know what? I'm done, I am not gonna mind anymore. I am getting so much better at not giving a damn.
2. I can't believe you think I'm stupid!!! That fucking ruined my entire day! Let's see you lie to my face AGAIN, over and over. Get ready for a confrontation, cause I am heeeeella pissed right now.
3. Through it all, thanks. Everyone is losing friends left and right but I still can depend on you. Gotta appreciate.
4. It pisses me off that you don't care about things that you should care about, so that means I won't care when you screw yourself over. It's only fair, right? Grow up!

School is such a distraction from... school! Sometimes, I wish I was homeschooled just so I could focus on what is really important.

Test fatigue sucks. And I am in a bad mood now too, because of #2. UGHHHHH! Spring break... where are you?

Modern society

Sometimes I wonder why people have a blog, cause they don't even use it. When they do, they ramble on and on, or talk in another language, or say how wonderful things are (Yeah, I think I may be sounding like a hypocrite here, but whatever). Sometimes I wonder why I have a blog. I don't say everything I want to say because I keep a lot of things private. It's no longer a place where I vent, but a place where I talk about things floating around in my head. Things that seem so trivial and unimportant.

I think I am losing my values. What ARE my values? They seemed so clear to me years ago: honesty, integrity, modesty, selflessness. I am proud of things that I have accomplished to get me where I am, but I am not necessarily proud of some ways that got me here. I have worked my ass off in so many ways but whenever I see a shortcut, more often than not, I take it.

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality has spiritual control. --Martin Luther King Jr.

Well, I can blog all day about my mistakes but I never seem to learn my lesson... so why am I here?

Looks deceive!

This performance made me HELLA surprised cause her voice is truly AMAZING. Even though she was self-taught, she hit all the right notes (this is when my tedious piano training comes in handy). My mouth dropped and my eyebrows were pretty much like Simon's. I love that song too. I have always wanted to watch Les Miserables on stage.



Guess what!? VICE PRESIDENT OF KEY CLUB! WHOOT WHOOT! :D

I am gonna so hate STAR testing tomorrow. Especially math, cause my math teacher right now didn't teach me shit in that class. I am gonna be so behind in Calc AB next year!!

Sunday brunch

Drove down to Monterey with family of 4 in the car. Argued with my brother the whole way because he was being especially annoying. Rented the 4-person bike and rode along the bay. Got in some great driving practice since the bike had a steering wheel and I learned that I "handle" the steering wheel the same way as my dad. Mother and brother went to Aquarium, me and father biked around for 2 hours until our thighs burned. Beautiful day, bright blue bay, what can I say? (Haha! I definitely won't try to rhyme again.) Ate too much and spent too much, both are great examples of mass consumerism in an overweight society. Whatever, I had fun. I missed having a free weekend. Back to school tomorrow...

You get a bunch of swimmers together and what do they talk about? Swimming. For hours. Fast people, slow people, fast teams, slow teams, good coaches, bad coaches, ugly practices, the occasional great practice, and TIMES. In a language full of numbers and abbreviations that you probably would not be able to understand if you were not on a swim team. And more often than not, swimmers will be way too impatient to explain to you how intense a practice was or how amazingly fast a person is. Just a heads up, please don't ask what a certain time means because it is very hard to explain.

I am excited for lunchtime tomorrow. But then again, trying desperately not to get my hopes up. Are you excited? How do you feel, Key Clubbers? :D

Happy Easter! I have been craving chocolate all day.

But I'm a riot, yeah.

I really don't want to take US history next year. No one else is and I don't want to fall behind cause I wasted a class period taking it. If only Mission didn't have that stupid rule to take only 1 class in the summer! And I can't do Ohlone or Deanza cause they interfere with another class. Ugh. Foothill and San Jose City College have yet to release their summer schedule. I am thinking about filling out the petition for enrollment exceptions but I can't think of a good reason why I should be an exception. Or maybe since they have an online class for US history, taking physics and US history together technically do not count as a 2 classes... hm. I'll ask my counselor next week and hopefully she can help me. All of that has just been bothering me. The more I get done this summer, the less I do next year so I can focus on all those stupid tests I have to take.

I crack my bones a lot. Is that a bad thing? Cause I heard it can mess up your bones. I can't help it though, I feel so stiff all the time. I do stretch every night but I don't think that really affects my bones, other than the fact that I am getting more and more flexible. I hope I don't develop that bone thing, osteoporosis? *knock on wood.

I have absolutely NOWHERE to go this weekend, for once! No Chinese school, no volunteer stuff, no tennis. I love it. Unfortunately, I have more homework to do than usual which is gross. But since I don't have to go anywhere, I can finish it by Saturday and go on a one-day road trip with my family like we always used to do. The weather is supposedly nice this weekend.

Gmail > Yahoo Mail, hands down.

Update

Haven't had the time or effort to blog much (hey, a preview of next year, when I will have no time to do anything whatsoever).

Speaking of next year, it's that time of year to pick classes! I looooove picking classes, more so than I like taking them. My junior year schedule, if everything works out perfectly: Honors English (Hanley), AP US History (Ducote), AP Calculus AB (Nguyen), AP Chemistry (Meyer), Journalism (Colburn), and Ceramics (Already my favorite class haha). I think I have too many AP classes and I am quite sure that I will regret it. But I usually underestimate myself and I do know that if I say that I commit to it, I will. If you aim low, you expect nothing else than failing. Aim high, try harder, get better results, right? (Kinda like my attitude towards swimming? Ehh... not really.)

Also this summer, physics at Mission. I am considering Santa Clara swimming (4 hours of BRUTAL practice a day, plus an hour of conditioning twice a week!) but I don't know if I can handle it. I WANT to get better at swimming and I know I can improve, I'm just unsure if I will be able to keep up. Rumors of Santa Clara really scare the shit out of me.

Speaking of swimming... (wow, everything just flows together!) we lost badly against Santa Clara. This was our last meet before Leagues in a month. Coach was pretty unhappy at the start of the meet, apparently Los Altos was being unfair in something. I got a PR in 500 free though (6:07) and 1st in 100 back (1:06). Even still, I am kinda disappointed about the 100 back cause I am not maintaining my CCS time! Why!? I did it once, can't I do it again? I have 5 weeks left, make it or break it (Ugh, reminds me of stupid, useless STAR testing).

Gideon took a picture of Ryan Lochte in the "steamy" boys locker room! My loves are P, R, and D (in that order, hehe). Only Wendy knows who they are (;

Guess what? I found out something that made me scream today. I still want to scream... WOOOOHOOOO! I can't believe I got it! Well actually, it is still unofficial but STILL! AHHHHHH! :D

Oh yeah, and that alliance is plain stupid. At least have the balls to do it individually, instead of taking a shortcut. It leaves everyone else in the dust and is completely unfair to them. What hypocrites.

Message deleted

My daddy is home! I missed him. He brought us this cool set of Christmas wishlists and blank letters for Santa from the North Pole and Finland, haha. We all went to buy some fruit trees today. I got to choose a pear tree just for myself, hehe. It's always nice having our whole family of 4 in the car cause 3 is so uneven with just me, my mom, and my brother. Feels more complete (:

Varsity girls won our first swim meet against Fremont High yesterday! Yay! Even though Fremont and Mountain View double-teamed us, at least we won against 1 team. I gained 1 second in both my 100 back and 100 free. Even though I got first, I am most disappointed about the backstroke. I need to get better in time for CCS, not get worse. On the bright side, I dropped 3 seconds from my 500 free for a new PR of 6:09. On the downside, since Gideon, Peter, and Vincent (all Varsity boys!) weren't there, we are soooo gonna get it from Pagan next week. Varsity boys lost and are no longer undefeated. I feel some pretty horrible punishments coming.

The Mission College physics class does not conflict with my SAT class! (They posted summer schedules yesterday, click here.) PHEW! I am so relieved. But that just means I won't have a single FULL week of rest (just weekends) until a week before school starts. Swimming, physics, SAT, piano, competition preparation... oh my. I guess it's cool though, I like being productive. Laziness happens, but having no ambitions at all is one of my biggest pet peeves.

*I am so not interested, so get a fucking clue. It really is becoming a pain in the ass.

Hello to April

Key Club interview for Prezzz today wasn't a total fail. Actually, it went quite well. I kinda knew what to expect and a lot of people helped me prepare. A few misspoken words can really kill an entire impression, so I tried not to do that (and I don't think I did either). They stumped me with the question of Will you even HAVE time for Key Club? And apparently, I turned bright red while doing the dance. I am glad I went for it though, good public speaking and on-the-spot thinking practice for me. An super-duperly, extra-specially shoutout to my mom who supported me and offered me great advice the whole way<333

I wanna work at the California special election polls! Should I work for money or community service? I need both really badly, haha. Hooray for bilinguals!

Congrats Miss Ivy for getting into the Holy Grail, Holy Trinity, whatever you call it. Princeton, Harvard, MIT... DAAAAAMN. Hella proud of you homie! Good choice with Stanford though, it owns all the other east coast snob schools haha!

Class elections are coming up. Honestly, I am SO divided right now. A lot of my close friends are competing for the same spot: Courtney and Tram, Bettina and Kevin. All of these people are completely qualified! It's too hard!!! It's times like these that I gotta really focus on who has the better message and ideas for our class. I'm gonna try to be as unbiased as possible and I would really respect it if other people did the same.

Yay, I played piano today for longer than I usually am supposed to today. I really like this new song (:

Oranges the size of your brain, pears the size of your foot, bananas the size of...? No, I don't think it's weird that I have oddly large fruits.