Oh, what seven days contain

Stressful week, I must say, but it ended on a good note.

SAT crap is causing me to break out.. stupid hormones. I didn't even swim for a whole week to focus on SATs so I can feel that unnecessary fat coming back, and I haven't been directing as much energy as I should be to school (which explains my six-week grades that I'm embarrassed to talk about here). But I'm just glad SAT attempt #1 is over.

However, if I get below 2250, I'm gonna retake it. It's hard to put into words how much I need that 2250, but I really do. What I'm really hoping for is 750 on each section or even a 2300!!, and here's to dreamin'. If not, and I sincerely hope this isn't so, I'll be hitting those SAT books soon for attempt #2. But for now, I feel light! and happy! and a teensy bit accomplished :)

On the bright side, it's a wonderful feeling just to get in a car and drive, to be able to have full control over something (except when that annoying fence stopped me... LOL). And I accomplished my self-promise of not logging onto AIM for a whole 7 days so I could study (except when I took 2 minutes to ask someone what English homework was). Believe me, that took a lot of willpower.

And just yesterday, I got my homecoming outfit.. I love it! I'm very much excited for the homecoming dance now (and homecoming week! rally! game! carnival!), especially with all my girls that are going<3 Rhodan's birthday party last night was the cherry on top of my week haha.

What I strongly dislike is when big things happen to coincide. Sometimes, I have those periods of time when my life is boring and uneventful. But not long after, it seems like everything happens at once. Right now, an avalanche of events, feelings, pressure, and responsibilities are all coming at me. How I manage to balance everything is probably gonna determine the rest of my life, or at least the near future.

Piling up

Today was such a bad day on so many levels. Everything seems so trivial. What's the point of hoping for better days? Nothing changes. Either things stay the same, or they get worse.

Making sense

I don't know. Am I supposed to? Things have changed, I feel it. I don't know if I like this situation or not, because now I don't know what to do. I think I should just ride it out until I figure things out. When in doubt, maintain the status quo. Things will fall into place, right? Change is too complicated. I don't even know what I'm talking about either. I have too many thoughts bouncing around in my head.

What I do know is that I need a back massage and a real night's sleep. One night, I got eight hours of sleep and I was still tired cause that's more than my usual five-six hours per night. Not swimming for two weeks is also more than I can handle. I need the chlorine to wash out some of this stress.

More often than not, there's a difference between what you want and what you need. Oh my gosh, this reminds me of math. In a way, I guess it can relate to limits. If the limit of f(x) as x approaches a from the left is not equal to the limit of f(x) as x approaches a from the right, then f(x) is not a continuous function. In that case, there can be either one or no functions where the limit of f(x) as x approaches a from both sides is equal to f(a), and even though only one condition is satisfied, f(x) is unfortunately still not a continuous function. But occasionally, the limit of f(x) as x approaches a from the left is equal to the limit of f(x) as x approaches a from the right, as well as equal to f(a), and only NOW do you have a continuous function. And now you're happy and you're living the good life.

That personal and mathematical connection made total sense in my head for some odd reason. But wow, I really need a break from everything.

Junior year

1. AP Calculus AB - Nguyen
2. Honors English - Conradson
3. French 3 - Topping
4. Anatomy - Henshke
5. AP Chemistry - Meyer
6. Journalism - Colburn

I better get ready to work my ass off this year. I must keep reminding myself that I have GREAT teachers, even though have a reputation for being really hard. Maybe I should have gone the easy road with Roy and Bautista (like freakin' Kevin!)... but I guess I will have to rely on more miracles/hard work this year. On the bright side, I'm superdooperly glad that Physics and US History were taken care of this summer! Two things that I will never have to worry about again. HELL YEAH! :D

I have been so in love with Japanese food lately. I've even grown a bit fond of raw fish (well, just tuna and salmon), but only in dainty little portions. I still have to work up the nerve to get that Sashimi plate that my mom always gets. I don't think a plate of jello-like creatures can really satisfy me.

My brother and I have kinda been on a rollercoaster ride. He can bring out the absolute worst in me and I hate it. I don't want to be annoyed by my brother but I am on a daily basis. And then I remind myself that he is my favorite person in the whole wide world, and then I feel like shit for being mean to him. He's still young, we all make mistakes (even though he seems to make so much more than the average kid). He gets me so stressed out, but he always makes me laugh. He is so odd.

My grandma's health is getting worse. It's starting to really worry me now. I don't want my grandparents to ever get old.

Maybe I overreacted, maybe I didn't; I don't really know. I think we need a real heart-to-heart talk sometime soon.

Junior year at-a-glance

My "locked" schedule, as determined by the loooovely Ms. Harke. I am pretty pleased with it, I got most of the teachers I wanted. Hopefully, I pass US History this summer so I can take Ceramics 4th period instead (and have 3 electives, hehe).

1st - AP Calculus AB (Nguyen)
2nd - Honors English (Conradson)
3rd - Anatomy (Henschtke)
4th - AP US History (Ducote)
5th - AP Chemistry (Meyer)
6th - Journalism (Colburn)

I have been taking naps on a daily basis now... I NEVER take naps! I think I am stressing out a little with all the crap I have to do, almost as stressed as I was during the school year. Did I mention that Tram found a white hair on me? I believe it represents my sophomore year, cause at the root, the hair was black... but it gradually turned to brown and blonde then WHITE for at least 5 inches, then at the very tip was black hair again (which probably represents June, which was kinda laidback).

Why I am stressing out right now

- Probably the hardest week of practice in the swim season, everything muscle hurts like a motherrrrr. Leagues in 1 week, CCS in 2 weeks.
- AP World test in 15 days!!! Must keep studying...
- Bielski isn't letting Harrison's kids take the AP World practice test, which I desperately need!!
- CCS is the day after AP World test, and I found out I have a Chem test on the day of CCS. Yeah, thanks. Just keep piling it on -___-
- Mission college physics class is filling up (only like 6 spots left) but I still have to wait another 3 damn weeks to register.
- Online US History class this summer is FULL, uggggggggh.
- My chem project experiment pretty much failed so I have to redo it.
- Too late for lifeguarding job (didn't really want to do it anyways; already too dark!), Read to Succeed (same; would only have been able to attend half the sessions), and Wisdom Chinese Camp (same again; 60 hours/week with little kids the age of my brother, SHOOT ME!).
- My rugball team sucks, enough said.

On the brightside:
- I finally paid AP ($86) and swimming jacket/suit fees ($95) that should have been paid last year.
- I got to skip crazy Mollot's BORING ASS class today for ortho.
- Braces off within 2 months max!
- No more stupid STAR testing! No more test fatigue, confusion from scrambled up classes, and general exhaustion from all of the above.

Yeah, negatives definitely outweigh the positives. If I can't take Physics, my summer will be a complete waste (Well, other than the SAT classes that I already applied for). I need to rake in those community service hours somehow, any ideas?