Piling up

Today was such a bad day on so many levels. Everything seems so trivial. What's the point of hoping for better days? Nothing changes. Either things stay the same, or they get worse.

Making sense

I don't know. Am I supposed to? Things have changed, I feel it. I don't know if I like this situation or not, because now I don't know what to do. I think I should just ride it out until I figure things out. When in doubt, maintain the status quo. Things will fall into place, right? Change is too complicated. I don't even know what I'm talking about either. I have too many thoughts bouncing around in my head.

What I do know is that I need a back massage and a real night's sleep. One night, I got eight hours of sleep and I was still tired cause that's more than my usual five-six hours per night. Not swimming for two weeks is also more than I can handle. I need the chlorine to wash out some of this stress.

More often than not, there's a difference between what you want and what you need. Oh my gosh, this reminds me of math. In a way, I guess it can relate to limits. If the limit of f(x) as x approaches a from the left is not equal to the limit of f(x) as x approaches a from the right, then f(x) is not a continuous function. In that case, there can be either one or no functions where the limit of f(x) as x approaches a from both sides is equal to f(a), and even though only one condition is satisfied, f(x) is unfortunately still not a continuous function. But occasionally, the limit of f(x) as x approaches a from the left is equal to the limit of f(x) as x approaches a from the right, as well as equal to f(a), and only NOW do you have a continuous function. And now you're happy and you're living the good life.

That personal and mathematical connection made total sense in my head for some odd reason. But wow, I really need a break from everything.