Here and there

I really need to spend less time on the computer. I have a faint memory of making some computer rules for myself back when school started but I haven't really been following them at all. But from now on, and I WILL try this time, I'll become an endangered species on AIM and I'm gonna seriously limit my Facebook time. I'm really beginning to think my time has gone to waste and I want it back.

My October SAT scores really disappointed me, to an extent in which I will not elaborate on here (let's just say that I did not take it well at all and I am still rather sensitive if someone brings it up). But my mom and I have had a real heart-to-heart talk and I've come to realize that no matter what, she is always right. She has always known the bigger picture better than I ever have. I want to listen to her and I'm gonna try to listen to her.

I'm losing focus in school. I can't seem to concentrate or summon enough energy to really try anymore and I can't figure out why. I convince myself that I'm doing my best but I know I'm not. My test grades are depressing and I have strong urges to call myself stupid, useless, etc... but in actuality, I know why I don't do well anymore. I've stopped studying, I've stopped actually trying to learn, and because of that, I've lost a lot of my confidence in my abilities. I still want that A more than ever, but I'm not doing as much as I should to actually earn it. In the end, I'm trying to juggle six challenging classes where I have mediocre and unacceptable grades (except French 3, but that doesn't even matter) and I hate myself for even having my grade that low in the first place. It's gonna be an uphill battle to bring my grades back but I have no other choice but to do it.

I am starting to notice that any conversation about the randomest thing in the world always manages to end up turning into a conversation about colleges/college apps/SATs. It's starting to bother me because I don't especially like talking about it on a daily basis, but it always happens. Have you noticed that?

Happy birthday my love Ashleezy. I'm really sorry I couldn't make it to the lunch, but do know that I love you and I sincerely hope you had a wonderful time because you truly do deserve it.

Hi Donkey Kong :)

Limitations

I had a tumblr addiction, it was reeeeeal bad. But I think it's okay. Everything is alright and I am perfectly fine now. Phew, I can control myself...

I needa lay down some ground rules before school starts, like cutting back on blogging/tumblring, no aim until homework is completely finished (hm... that's gonna be the hardest), no more skype, facebook ONCE A DAY, delete twitter (hehe, did that already!), and no phone after 12am. Oh man, must increase self-discipline somehow!!!

Thank god I have unlimited texting! And hopefully some rollover minutes left. But guess what? I found out I don't have to pay for long distance calls! ;)

Santa Clara International

OH MY GOSH I HAVE TICKETS TO WATCH MY LOOOOVE, RYAN LOCHTE, SWIM TOMORROW!!! And Michael Phelps! And every other swimmer that is famous! My heart is like all bubbly and jumpy, I AM SO FREAKIN' EXCITED! I really hope I get a pictures and autographs at the end... but just watching them swim is enough for me. And this time, I will be MUCH closer than I was when I watched them in Beijing ;D

MHS Class of 2009 Graduation was today. I will upload pictures as soon as other people upload them. Yeah, I forgot my camera today, how stupid of me! So now I have to hunt through people's Facebook albums or wait until they post them and tag me. It's quite a long process...

End of the year introduction

Today was Kayjing's last day at MTW before she goes to MSJA. She was our young prodigy because she was crazy fast and not only that, she was one of my closest friends on the team. And I bet the next time I see her, she will be insanely buff and faster than ever. Nonetheless, I will miss her greatly and am very proud of her. MSJA practices are intense, people throwing up on deck is apparently quite common. On that note, I wish her good luck and a healthy stomach, haha.

I feel like writing an about me, like I did back when I was addicted to myspace. Everyone knows now that Facebook > Myspace duuh! :)

I notice the little things and often forget to see the big picture. I would much rather walk barefoot everywhere. I love my brother, swimming, and food more than anything else in the world. On a less intense note, I like gmail, jumpshots, science, and organized binders. I hate slow computers, ants, trashy girls, and waiting in line. I love knowledge but I don't especially like the process of learning. I get nervous and embarrassed too easily. I love risks and thrills, within certain limits. I am a hypocrite and you probably are too. Motivated, ambitious, priorities straight, what's important to you?

End of the yeeeeear is almost heeeeere! 9 days left (now a single digit number). Countdown to summer: 23 days!