The Basics

So I told my parents about prom, and... wait for it... they are supportive about it! BIG SURPRISE RIGHT? I thought they would give me crap about it but my mom was just like "Okay, let's go get a dress! You know, you have to go to your high school prom. I feel like if I didn't let you, you would have some kind of psychological wound and that's not good!" and my dad's just like "Is your date taller than me??" hahaha silly dad. I feel like I've come so far as a daughter. I've never had a full-blown rebellious stage; only arguments here and there (although some were quite dramatic). Even still, the disagreements are extremely rare nowadays. I think the last time I've argued with my parents was around a year ago? There isn't much of a reason to anymore. They trust me to do what I gotta do with my priorities and I respect them and listen. As always, I am extremely thankful for my family and I love love love them.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I would live a sad, sad life without swimming. I think I would be reduced to a bare minimum without it. Swimming can be the solution to most problems. Stressed? Swim your head off and your mind is cleared. Sick? Swim a few laps and no more runny nose, haha. Fat? Ate too much again? Swim that weight off! Depressed? Go to MHS swim practice with some of the coolest people ever<3 I don't believe I would be who I am today without my team and a pool nearby.

When I have reached a certain age of maturity (which basically means when I get a real job), I am going to blow my first paycheck on high-heels and then wear a pair every time I leave my apartment/house/dorm. I have no clue why I am so in love with them, but I am! Especially stilettos and booties. This is probably surprising since I wear boring shoes all the time. Heels, however, are gorgeous and they make me feel very happy. Clothes are ehhh to me, unless it's a beautiful dress, but shoes are the best part of an outfit.

It's really difficult to consume a healthy diet, especially with a license, a car, and some freetime after swimming practice. My new rules are to stay away from rice at dinner, drink water only, eat breakfast so I don't feel hungry all day, and remind myself that I must stay in shape for swimming (and now prom) whenever I am ordering at a restaurant. It's especially hard right now as I type, since I am really craving some Ghirardelli chocolate... be right back! :D

Who's excited for prom? ME! :)

Here and there

I really need to spend less time on the computer. I have a faint memory of making some computer rules for myself back when school started but I haven't really been following them at all. But from now on, and I WILL try this time, I'll become an endangered species on AIM and I'm gonna seriously limit my Facebook time. I'm really beginning to think my time has gone to waste and I want it back.

My October SAT scores really disappointed me, to an extent in which I will not elaborate on here (let's just say that I did not take it well at all and I am still rather sensitive if someone brings it up). But my mom and I have had a real heart-to-heart talk and I've come to realize that no matter what, she is always right. She has always known the bigger picture better than I ever have. I want to listen to her and I'm gonna try to listen to her.

I'm losing focus in school. I can't seem to concentrate or summon enough energy to really try anymore and I can't figure out why. I convince myself that I'm doing my best but I know I'm not. My test grades are depressing and I have strong urges to call myself stupid, useless, etc... but in actuality, I know why I don't do well anymore. I've stopped studying, I've stopped actually trying to learn, and because of that, I've lost a lot of my confidence in my abilities. I still want that A more than ever, but I'm not doing as much as I should to actually earn it. In the end, I'm trying to juggle six challenging classes where I have mediocre and unacceptable grades (except French 3, but that doesn't even matter) and I hate myself for even having my grade that low in the first place. It's gonna be an uphill battle to bring my grades back but I have no other choice but to do it.

I am starting to notice that any conversation about the randomest thing in the world always manages to end up turning into a conversation about colleges/college apps/SATs. It's starting to bother me because I don't especially like talking about it on a daily basis, but it always happens. Have you noticed that?

Happy birthday my love Ashleezy. I'm really sorry I couldn't make it to the lunch, but do know that I love you and I sincerely hope you had a wonderful time because you truly do deserve it.

Hi Donkey Kong :)