Rant about memory loss

So you know that feeling when you KNOW a word.. but you can't seem to remember it? Like it's on the tip of your tongue and you freakin' know it, damn it!, but you just can't say it. Yeah, that happens to me all the time. And then the answer comes to me in the most random of times in a sudden epiphany, hours or days later. My memory is getting worse.. I can feel it slipping.

I spent the entire last half of practice today tring to figure out the name of the burger I had at Red Robin's that I loved so much. (At practice, we usually talk about food haha). I asked HELLA people too! And they knew what I was talking about caused they loved it too, except they were useless at helping me figure out the name. Guess what it was? Whiskey River BBQ burger! I highly recommend that one, by the way<3

"Cactus caroline: you're very prickly and harmful on the outside, but when you look within, it's everything you need." -- I can't figure out if that's a compliment or an insult... It was meant to show good intentions (like that swan feather! omg JLC is growing on me.) but FAIL overall.

Sleep no more

I am really bad at memorizing things, due to my sucky memory. And I need to buy something to get rid of those dark circles under my eyes. I have been getting 5-6 hours of sleep each night and sleep deprivation makes me feel miserable, vulnerable, and extremely moody. Everything is instantly interpreted by me to be more dramatic than it would have been interpreted in reality. I am so drained, emotionally and physically.

You know the character, Ross, in Macbeth? I really feel like we have a lot in common, and not in a good way. I feel like I am not as honest to certain people as I should be, sometimes because a certain person told me not to and sometimes because I didn't want to for my own reasons (selfish much?). Or maybe I am just overreacting. God, I really need some damn sleep!!

Yay my mommy is back from Canada! And OMG she bought maple cream cookies!<3 And OMG there is a chocolate version, like Oreos! Or should I say... biscuits a la creme d'erable & biscuits au chocolat a la creme d'erable.

Corsages and peonies

I got home yesterday to discover a dozen or so beautiful couples in my front yard. Turns out, I had forgotten that I let the seniors take pictures at my house for their senior ball! Hahaha, told you my memory is bad. Anyways, they were totally nice about not intruding on my family and they weren't strangers or anything cause I knew most of them. I got a picture too but it looked weird cause I wasn't dressed up. Our senior ball is in exactly 2 years!

So anyways, my family drove deep, deep into the hills today to find this supposedly magical peony farm. My parents love peonies cause they were the flowers of the royal Chinese family thousands of years ago. Actually, scratch that; all Chinese parents will instantly recall stories about the flower, even I have heard stories from my grandparents. It's actually a very beautiful flower, more so than roses. The lady (after hearing stories about this asian flower, I was surprised to discover that the lady who sells them isn't asian, she is white) that sells it has like hundreds of varieties she imports from China with her very own importation license (I didn't know that a flower importation license existed). Her husband raises 16 llamas that just lounge around and eat hay, he told me he used to raise 42! How cool would that be... to be able to say, "Hey guys, guess what? I live 30 minutes away from civilization, deep in the hills. Also, I raise llamas and my wife sells Chinese flowers. What do you do?" Haha! Below is a picture (not taken by me) of a peony called Caroline Mather. Ain't she pretty? :)

Materialistic

I got a new queen-sized bed, finally! It was a Christmas present my parents promised to me when I said my bed was too small, then I changed my mind when I realized I would be leaving for college in 2 years anyway, then a week ago, they convinced me to get it cause it was like 70% off and SUPER COMFORTABLE. I really could have fallen asleep in the middle of Sears in Newark. I am so excited to starting dreaming in it! (Hopefully it will be set up by tomorrow night)

I am considering getting an iTouch, with my own $$. The Apps are so awesome and I absolutely love anything touchscreen. But mostly for the reason that my mom lost her nano (actually, she left it at the gym and the guy who said he found it ended up denying its existence, STUUUUPID!) and doesn't want to buy a new one, so I am giving her mine. I am possibly even considering an iPhone to replace my LG Shine that I am beginning to hate. I use the internet on my phone almost daily but it's so damn slow. And texting too, ugh.

Other than that, TGIF definitely. My eyes were fluttering in every class (especially 6th with Mollot!) from sleep deprivation. I desperately need sleep. But... life goes on. No sleeping in tomorrow, gotta wake up early to get those 8 hours of community service time.

I swear, my memory is getting worse and worse.