How soon?

Currently, I am hoping that...
- Wisdom volunteer spots don't fill up!
- Ohlone posts the damn summer schedule already
- no one gets lost on the way to my house tomorrow
- 1:05 in 100 back! 200 IM > 500 Free
- I don't fail that French quiz
- my mood stabilizes

All this talk about college admissions and what colleges people are getting into... really makes me jealous. Not because of a certain college but because of everything they had to go through to get there. I cannot begin to imagine all the stressful hours, sleepless nights, nervewracking tests, and the waiting period for those fateful envelopes. It all makes me realize I am in the middle of all this, I am going through it right now. It's hard to make the best of your high school experience when you're so deprived of sleep, totally lacking energy, and have to juggle a ton of activities. Take Kevin Nguyen, for example. It's all taking a major toll on him. All this crap to do is making me quite unmotivated but so far, I haven't shown any external signs of it, have I? I don't think my attitude has totally changed. If anything, I have become more focused on what is REALLY important. No one likes sacrifices but they do it anyways because it is necessary. Which leads me to this:

1. Get it straight, I have my priorities. I'm staying on top of my game. Just because you fell of the horse, don't try to drag me down with you.
2. I used to not mind being around you, you're a chill girl and a generally nice person. I just don't like it when you think we are best of friends one minute and you treat me like a nobody the next. It all seems to depend on the crowd right? Cause if so, that is fucking stupid. I absolutely HATE when you do that, just so you know. It really bugs me cause I never understood why.
3. It's not 9th grade anymore, nor is it middle school. I have tried but it's still not the same. I know you talk but I have trained myself to tune you out. Just keep on doing your own thing and I will keep on doing mine. It was great while it lasted.
4. You are honestly someone I can admire, for your talents, achievements, and dedication. I respect it all and I want to learn from you. You are definitely going somewhere with your life, please take me with you? Haha. (This is actually referring to a lot of people)
5. It used to be all fun and games but I think I took it too far. I acted one way but I think you got the wrong impression and now I'm paying for it. Open your eyes, just a little bit. It may not seem possible but it might be, even if I deny it. We talk every day but even still, I wanna emphasize that I will always be here.
6. I appreciate the child within you. There are some times when I really need to lighten up and I am glad you do that for me. I may get pissy with you sometimes, but I hope you understand that you are still a great friend of mine.

Phew, that was a load. Definitely needed that. Today, I realized I really need to be more posi+ive. Don't we all?