8 hours of sleep

I got my permit (: By summer, I will be able to get my license!

My dad says I need to practice more self-discipline. And the selfish part of me said, Are you kidding? Discipline is something I have plenty of. It takes a lot of discipline to swim for 2 damn hours everyday, play the stupid piano on most days, and still finish my 3-4 hours worth of fucking AP/Honors homework. It took quite a bit of self-discipline to drag myself out of bed at 5am every summer. But another part of me is screaming, Your dad is totally right. You are lazy and nothing good will come of it. You say you have big dreams, but what are you gonna do about it? You have plenty of regrets and you wonder why, even though you already know why. You are not the least bit disciplined. & I think this part of me (and my dad) is right.

I need to do something about that. In order to discipline myself, I need to set down goals, rules, limits. I will do at least an hour of school homework every single day of break. No more excuses of Oh, it is a holiday! Oh, I have plenty of time! And I will do all of my Chinese homework by the first Sunday of 2009, which includes a 100 character essay, a 2 page translation of an English document, a 4 page practice test, and a memorized short story. I will practice 1-2 hours of piano daily like I promised my teacher. Oh yeah, and I will clean my room like my dad keeps pushing me to. Also, (and this is the hardest) no more snacks after dinner because it is making me fat. These above guidelines are to be followed, or else I will look at myself as a failure to mankind and the history of our species (I am only kidding but I think you get the picture).

I haven't done this in a long time but winter break allows a lot of time for thinking that is non-school related. Mostly reflection on the past year, which is why some are so harsh. Pent-up anger is never any good, for anyone.
1. Ulterior motives, you seem to have one for everything. Unconditional generosity? Unknown to you. It seems as if you are playing games with your friends. You are lonely and in a way, you admit it. But don't go looking for satisfaction in the stupidest, and most cliche, place ever. Modesty is key, not popularity.
2. It doesn't really seem like you care about this thing. And on top of that, you do something else that you know will only make me jealous. Or maybe you are just ignorantly stupid. You think you have the upper hand? That maybe somehow you are better than anyone else? Honaay, we have all got news for you. You don't have a single character trait that makes you better than any one of us. I am only pleasant around you because I have to be. "Oh, these ties that bind."
3. What you said is true. Not only is it true, but it hurts. You gotta realize this, it is not entirely my fault. I accept partial responsibility and therefore, it is OUR fault. Quit playing the blame game when you deserve some of that blame too.
4. I think it is funny when you think you are funny. You weren't like this a year ago. And believe it or not, I know exactly why. Even if you try to hide it. Learn to be your own person. My ideas are mine, and I may sound selfish, but quit stealing them and then telling the whole world it was yours.