I feel like I'm in a really good place in my life. Sure, I complain now and then but nothing that really affects my outlook. My parents are totally supportive and my brother always makes me smile; my friends are always great, especially you gang of amazing girls, along with tram and dorkatron lol; school is still rather worrisome but not deadly; and I'm really getting used to juggling and truly enjoying my extracurriculars. I feel like for once, things are going right. I once again feel blessed to live each day instead of wanting to fast forward to the future. And I believe I am in this mood because I'm finally exercising/swimming since November 2009, so more healthy blood is flowing to my brain! haha. Swimming makes me such a happy and better person, and I love love love it. And maybe driving too, driving everyday to school and back makes me feel so good haha.
I was talking with a friend about this the other day, but I wonder what my blog really says about me. Looking back at old entries, I guess you can learn a whole lot about me if you read between the lines. I'm not the type of person to say much, but I guess my everyday thoughts on here say enough, especially if you're cool enough too decipher my meanings :)
I love all this talk about Junior Prom. Who's wearing what dress, who's going with who, who's eating where with who... how exciting! Once I "do what I gotta go" and decide on my dress, I will be like a happy ticking bomb, ready to explode on prom night! And hopefully senior ball too :D
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
A Year in Review
I absolutely love Christmas more than ever now, not the actual day but the spirit or it. But it came and went so quickly this year. I didn't even have a traditional Christmas; I spent all day on the slopes in Reno then ate at some cafe with my family and returned to our hotel room. I would have loved to just wake up in my bed at home, eat as a family, open presents, laugh a little, take pictures, and call it a day. Maybe next year. I desperately want to cling to this time of year when jolliness isn't such a rare attitude and everyone is a little less insane. It's nice just to stare at my decked out Christmas tree; it makes me peaceful.
I don't believe 2009 has been all that great to me, or probably to anyone else. I think a major part is that I've given in more to laziness, but this year I've also forgotten to live a little. It has become the year when all my responsibilities as a young adult just hit me in the face. The New Year's Resolutions of 2009 that I actually remember were shot to hell. So what in the world should I promise myself in 2010? Plus, the idea of turning 17 is frightening in itself. 17 IS A GODDAMN HUGE NUMBER.
However, it's very much a sin to be a pessimist, I guess 2009 wasn't all that horrible. I've met some new people and grew just a little wiser. 2009 was a huge year of growth for me in my mindset, attitude, and maturity (maybe height too, haha). I've felt a mixture of almost-there type of relief and where-did-my-childhood-go? type of horror because of the fact that I was getting closer and closer to my "actual" life. I've begun to look more and more towards the future and realized that with all the work that I put in now, I am creating possibilities for that future. But in the end, I've had my wonderful and memorable times where I let myself be young and let go of my stress and worries.
I sincerely hope 2010 will be a great year, or at least have the decency to make itself a better year than 2009.
I don't believe 2009 has been all that great to me, or probably to anyone else. I think a major part is that I've given in more to laziness, but this year I've also forgotten to live a little. It has become the year when all my responsibilities as a young adult just hit me in the face. The New Year's Resolutions of 2009 that I actually remember were shot to hell. So what in the world should I promise myself in 2010? Plus, the idea of turning 17 is frightening in itself. 17 IS A GODDAMN HUGE NUMBER.
However, it's very much a sin to be a pessimist, I guess 2009 wasn't all that horrible. I've met some new people and grew just a little wiser. 2009 was a huge year of growth for me in my mindset, attitude, and maturity (maybe height too, haha). I've felt a mixture of almost-there type of relief and where-did-my-childhood-go? type of horror because of the fact that I was getting closer and closer to my "actual" life. I've begun to look more and more towards the future and realized that with all the work that I put in now, I am creating possibilities for that future. But in the end, I've had my wonderful and memorable times where I let myself be young and let go of my stress and worries.
I sincerely hope 2010 will be a great year, or at least have the decency to make itself a better year than 2009.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Warring
I have a whole half-page list of things I want to accomplish this break, most of which are school related, but I have no clue how I'm going to do all of that in just two weeks. Today is the first official full day of break for me and the first thing I shall do is make a plan, because without it, I will be lost. (Speaking of lost, I found my planner! Or actually, Ric had it all along... ugh.) Number 1 thing on my list is to catch up in Anatomy and AP Chemistry in time for finals; I feel like I'm really behind in those classes.
So my parents are going to Napa Valley today along with their friends from when we were back in Chicago. I REALLY don't want to go. As a kid, you do not belong there. The scenery is nice, I guess, but we don't care about that. The drive is loooooong and endless. And we can't even try the wine, which is the whole point of going! I've already been there twice in my life, I don't even know why, and I do not want to go back until I am old enough to understand "good wine." But it would look bad on my parents because they haven't seen their friends in years. It would be common Chinese courtesy to go along and not having the whole family go is like a slap in their face. I know that it's not uncommon for people to decide whether to do what they want to do or what they have to do, but in the Chinese tradition, we usually have no choice. Respect for others must be above matters of oneself. However, I'm in somewhat of a homework kind of mood today, which is quite rare, and I need to take advantage of it. I'll see how this turns out, my parents' final decision is still in the making.
I feel like I have to be secretive all the time now around certain people in my classes. In the end, we all want the same thing.
So my parents are going to Napa Valley today along with their friends from when we were back in Chicago. I REALLY don't want to go. As a kid, you do not belong there. The scenery is nice, I guess, but we don't care about that. The drive is loooooong and endless. And we can't even try the wine, which is the whole point of going! I've already been there twice in my life, I don't even know why, and I do not want to go back until I am old enough to understand "good wine." But it would look bad on my parents because they haven't seen their friends in years. It would be common Chinese courtesy to go along and not having the whole family go is like a slap in their face. I know that it's not uncommon for people to decide whether to do what they want to do or what they have to do, but in the Chinese tradition, we usually have no choice. Respect for others must be above matters of oneself. However, I'm in somewhat of a homework kind of mood today, which is quite rare, and I need to take advantage of it. I'll see how this turns out, my parents' final decision is still in the making.
I feel like I have to be secretive all the time now around certain people in my classes. In the end, we all want the same thing.
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