I absolutely love Christmas more than ever now, not the actual day but the spirit or it. But it came and went so quickly this year. I didn't even have a traditional Christmas; I spent all day on the slopes in Reno then ate at some cafe with my family and returned to our hotel room. I would have loved to just wake up in my bed at home, eat as a family, open presents, laugh a little, take pictures, and call it a day. Maybe next year. I desperately want to cling to this time of year when jolliness isn't such a rare attitude and everyone is a little less insane. It's nice just to stare at my decked out Christmas tree; it makes me peaceful.
I don't believe 2009 has been all that great to me, or probably to anyone else. I think a major part is that I've given in more to laziness, but this year I've also forgotten to live a little. It has become the year when all my responsibilities as a young adult just hit me in the face. The New Year's Resolutions of 2009 that I actually remember were shot to hell. So what in the world should I promise myself in 2010? Plus, the idea of turning 17 is frightening in itself. 17 IS A GODDAMN HUGE NUMBER.
However, it's very much a sin to be a pessimist, I guess 2009 wasn't all that horrible. I've met some new people and grew just a little wiser. 2009 was a huge year of growth for me in my mindset, attitude, and maturity (maybe height too, haha). I've felt a mixture of almost-there type of relief and where-did-my-childhood-go? type of horror because of the fact that I was getting closer and closer to my "actual" life. I've begun to look more and more towards the future and realized that with all the work that I put in now, I am creating possibilities for that future. But in the end, I've had my wonderful and memorable times where I let myself be young and let go of my stress and worries.
I sincerely hope 2010 will be a great year, or at least have the decency to make itself a better year than 2009.