Declaration

I hereby declare that I no longer care about AP World chapter tests. Instead, I will be focusing my energy on the AP World test in May which, apparently, has only a 40something% pass rate in the United States (says Maggie Blackburn). I would also like to declare that I care a lot about my English and Chem grades because they are low A's, dangerously close to A-'s. And in PE, our rugball team got 3rd in playoffs but Osborne grades according to wins/losses (Have you met her son? Not bad looking...). That possible A- or B+ bothers me too, but let's just hope I get a better team tomorrow.

2 more tests tomorrow. My teachers must have been COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to all the star testing that has been going on this week and decided to put 2 tests on the Friday before spring break. Well actually, since I have declared that I no longer care about AP World, I actually only have 1 test tomorrow. I am quite nervous about that test in English, especially since I finished the last half of All Quiet on the Western Front in the last 2 days.

Swimming practice has been good lately. Extremely painful, but effective. I am actually trying harder now. And you, please don't bring me down. For spring break, I am considering going to both the morning and afternoon practice, but let's see how Day 1 turns out before I make any crazy decisions.

Are you serious!?

1. I thought I didn't mind all that bullcrap, but I do mind. You know what? I'm done, I am not gonna mind anymore. I am getting so much better at not giving a damn.
2. I can't believe you think I'm stupid!!! That fucking ruined my entire day! Let's see you lie to my face AGAIN, over and over. Get ready for a confrontation, cause I am heeeeella pissed right now.
3. Through it all, thanks. Everyone is losing friends left and right but I still can depend on you. Gotta appreciate.
4. It pisses me off that you don't care about things that you should care about, so that means I won't care when you screw yourself over. It's only fair, right? Grow up!

School is such a distraction from... school! Sometimes, I wish I was homeschooled just so I could focus on what is really important.

Test fatigue sucks. And I am in a bad mood now too, because of #2. UGHHHHH! Spring break... where are you?

Modern society

Sometimes I wonder why people have a blog, cause they don't even use it. When they do, they ramble on and on, or talk in another language, or say how wonderful things are (Yeah, I think I may be sounding like a hypocrite here, but whatever). Sometimes I wonder why I have a blog. I don't say everything I want to say because I keep a lot of things private. It's no longer a place where I vent, but a place where I talk about things floating around in my head. Things that seem so trivial and unimportant.

I think I am losing my values. What ARE my values? They seemed so clear to me years ago: honesty, integrity, modesty, selflessness. I am proud of things that I have accomplished to get me where I am, but I am not necessarily proud of some ways that got me here. I have worked my ass off in so many ways but whenever I see a shortcut, more often than not, I take it.

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality has spiritual control. --Martin Luther King Jr.

Well, I can blog all day about my mistakes but I never seem to learn my lesson... so why am I here?