What swimming and school do to you

The annual and long-awaited Monterey meet was this weekend. I am pooped. I don't think I have been this sore yet in the past.. year. If I sit for 5 minutes, I feel like someone is continually punching my back. And walking is pretty excruciating, I feel like I just ran miles and miles. Even just sitting down feels like someone has been sitting on my lap for quite a long time. Everything hurts, more than usual. So my mom put on 4 of those Asian patches that HURT LIKE HELL when you try to peel them off. It kinda helped. Advil did too. And sleep, yum.

In general, I guess I'm pretty satisfied with my results, although I always have those nagging regrets. I received the 1st place High Point Champion trophy for the girls 15-18 age group.. that made everything worthwhile :D And MTW got the 1st place team trophy for the highest scoring team. But there was an air of sadness cause it was Alex's last meet with us; he will be dearly missed. I hope he liked our card and acoustic rendition of "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. And I know I could have gotten better times and I know what I need to work on now: faster recovery in free, faster kick in fly and back, IM turns, stop saving my energy for the last lap!!! I absolutely hate the feeling of being out-touched by a few tenths or hundredths of a second. If I lose, I would rest easier knowing I lost by an entire body length than by the length of a fingernail.

I wish I could have camped out with the team.. but my mom doesn't like the Monterey fog and the cold breeze that results from it. I'm glad we didn't though, a hotel is like heaven. My major back and leg pain would not have been very pleasant at all if I slept on the hard dirt floor. But I did visit the campsite around sunset and enjoy the potluck, making the s'mores, climbing the trees, ignoring the "no trespassing sign", touching electric fences, playing mafia, hunting for bambi, stepping on the poison ivy, nonstop laughing with Vincent, and feeding Victor, LOL. I love my team :)

I am not at all pleased with school. My grades so far are putting me in a super bad mood and a few people said that it shows. I feel like I'm settling. I can do better, I know it. School is one of my top priorities and I feel like I'm losing this competition. I CANNOT lose.

1. I know you don't, but try to understand. We have entirely different priorities. I act like it's nothing, but it's more than that to me.
2. I think it's the end, but I do hope it's the beginning.
3. Thanks for not even bothering to try.
4. It bothers me when you act like nothing has happened.

Long weekend, short temper

A craaaazy ass weekend. One that makes you tired but happy and thankful for everything you have. I wish I had more pictures though.

Friday: bruises all over from brutal games of animal ball, tanning, schmear, cannonball competitions, racist jokes.




Saturday: Kelvin's surprise party at Jason's, Zach's cupcake video=instant LOL, possibly poisoning from my stupid dare, guy-on-guy action/foreplay, drove to 3 different parks that all had families in it, ended up at Pomeroy playground, Monkey boy on monkey bars, hand calluses.



Sunday: Tram's birthday, XXI hot pink bag, red mango froyo, new shirts & bag, Cheesecake Factory, Disney Channel.

I don't know why my mom has such a short temper lately, but she takes it out on my and my brother. She is so naggy when she is moody! She won't even let me go to someone's birthday or do anything! It takes too much time and energy to reason with her. She pretty much wants me trapped at home being the perfect asian child. Well fuck that, I'm not. Ugh, she makes me so frustrated!! I wake up, expecting a relaxing weekend, but apparently, that is such a stupid and horrible thing to expect. The little things I do wrong, the big things I do wrong; what in the world do I do right then?! She really needs to calm down, stop yelling, stop worrying, stop nagging, stop hovering over my life, and stop ruining people's good moods.

*It's funny just how much you sound like me a few years back. A person doesn't change. It took me a while to learn that lesson.